Devotional 11 - Pain

            Today I write this devotional on a rough day physically for me. I always have some chronic pain, usually a headache I have had for over a year, but today it is my whole body. Sometimes I can connect the pain to eating something wrong or over doing it, but not today. I am grateful that I have had less and less bad days like this since I was diagnosed with chronic Lyme’s disease in September 2016. Thankfully God opened a door for me with a good doctor back in August. He understood my journey and has been helping me with medicine and supplements to get better. Even still you cannot predict when the bad days come.

            All of us suffer some kind of pain in our lives, whether physical or emotional. None of that is easy to handle. Some of us are suffering from heartbreak, while others are suffering from physical pain, but we have hope. Romans 8:17-18 NIV says “Now if we are children, then we are heirs – heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Jesus suffered a lot on the cross. I know that my suffering doesn’t compare to any of what he went through, but it is comforting to know that Jesus understands our pain.

            Right now my husband’s friend from college just passed away from cancer. That family is indeed suffering deeply. Also these past months they have seen him suffer so much physically. It all seems so unfair, but we know that he is not suffering anymore in heaven. Also my uncle is suffering from a close to death experience after a surgery to remove his lung cancer. I could keep going on with many others that are struggling with some sort of pain today, but we cannot lose hope. Even when it feels the worse pain ever, never give up! Today sing a song of praise through the pain from Isaiah 61:1-3

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,

because the Lord has anointed me

to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives

and release from darkness for the prisoners,

to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor

and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,

and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

instead of ashes,

the oil of joy

instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

a planting of the Lord

for the display of his splendor.

Devotional 10 - Patience

            Who of us has to wait for something, maybe you are waiting to meet your future spouse, for a promotion, for healing, for direction, and many more. We all have had periods in our life where we wait for God to give us the answers. Can you imagine waiting about 400 years like the Israelites did to get out of Egypt? Then they ended up having to wait another 40 years to get to the promise land. How about Jesus, he had to wait 30 years before his ministry got started. I bet each of you has a story of waiting.

            When I was in college I had everything planned out. I was going to be a nurse and work overseas. I knew exactly what I wanted to do. When I changed schools in between my sophomore and junior year there were some unexpected bumps in the road to nursing school. I was still on track, but it was going to take longer. About two months before graduation I received the most disappointing letter. I didn’t get into the nursing school. All my plans and my waiting seemed pointless. I was broken hearted. In many ways I was prepared for some kind of surprise because God had warned me something was coming. So I wasn’t sure what the next step was, but God was just around the corner to surprise me. A dear friend was visiting me soon after this disappointment and introduced me to her best friend’s parents who were missionaries to Thailand. At that meeting they offered me a position in Bangkok to help work for a missionary there. That was it. I wanted to go back overseas so badly, but I thought I had to be a nurse to do it. God had other plans he was working out during my waiting.

            Thailand taught me many lessons that I could never of learned in school. During that time God gave me a vision of people including myself waiting in a “waiting room.” for their future spouse. God showed me that in those times of waiting we should spend it in God’s Throne room instead of a waiting room. He wants us worshiping him during these rough times of unanswered prayers. Whatever you are waiting for, remember this verse, Romans 12:12 NIV “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer,” and continue to worship God through it all!

Devotional 9 - Faith

            It took a lot of faith for my family to move to Colombia in 1991. At that time the drug cartel was getting bigger and kidnappings were very common. My parents remember that they were told not to be conspicuous, which was hard to do since my dad is 6’2’’, my mom is red head and I was very blond. We stood out. There was no denying we could have been targeted. My parents took a step of faith to move a very “gringo family” to Colombia. 

            As a kid, I didn’t think twice about where we lived. I think subconsciously it was dangerous and that is where my fight or flight came into play many times. I choose fight. There are times where my dad and I would get separated on the bus going to school and if any guy seemed way to interested in me, I would imagine ways of how to protect myself. I am not proud of my ideas, such as stabbing their eyes with needles, but what was worse being kidnapped or hurting someone to protect yourself. It might sound extreme to most, but it was survival. Thankfully I never had to use any of my ideas because God continued to protect us and we all had faith He would.

            One occurrence that shook our faith was a time where my dad and I had been at a church practicing for a kids program for school. While there we heard over the news that a car bomb had exploded near where my mom was having her dentist appointment.  This is before any of us had cell phones and had no way of knowing what had happen to my mom. We went home and waited. I remember being only maybe 10 years old at the time and we were just praying and waiting quietly. Thankfully my mom showed up after a few hours! She told us that in the taxi ride the driver decided to go a longer route to the dentist, which at first made my mom mad because it would cost more money.  Then as they were exactly parallel to where they would of normally been driving she felt and saw the bomb explode. It was a miracle that the taxi chose a different street. Our faith in God’s protection was built up even more that day.

            What kind of faith do you have today? What keeps you from having faith in God’s promises? What does a step of faith look like for you today? I have had those questions run through my brain in the past and even present, but I stand on this verse every time I doubt creeps in. Hebrews 11:1 NIV “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” I believe that only until we get to heaven will we get to understand the whole realm of how our faith is played out. If you have unanswered prayers today, stand on God’s everlasting faith. Delay is never Denial.

Devotional 8 - Joy

            James 1:2 ESV says “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds.” Not many of us want to see the joy in the trials of life. I am sure Joseph in the Bible did not originally think that being sold into to slavery was a joyful experience. Then he was falsely accused of being an adulterer. After all the different bad situations he went through he truly counted it all joy when he forgave his brothers for selling him and even called his first child “God helped me forget”.

            As I was growing up I know that my parents had rough years financially. They would tell me of a Christmas where we had a little Charlie Brown tree. I didn’t even know the difference. Then in Colombia there were hard times with our support not coming in and other unforeseen obstacles. My parents never showed the struggles to me. We might not of had a lot during those years, but I remember spending Thanksgiving or Christmas at the street kids home a few times. In the rough times, my parents still found the joy in helping others. For an example, our first Thanksgiving in Bogota we invited over our new friends for dinner and we were only able to serve chicken. Even so that didn’t matter to my parents and friends. The experience and friends was the best memory for me.

            Recently our family has been struggling financially. This Christmas was going to be very small, but the good news is our daughter did not know the difference. All she needed and wanted was spending time with us. Thankfully some dear friends surprised us with some extra money to help with groceries and some gifts. During struggles, that I still have a hard time admitting to, I am finding the joy of these trials. The good news is that we will not always be at this place of struggle. The future will hold other trials, but right now we are learning to live on less than we ever thought we could. One day we can continue to live on less and any extra we have we can give to missions and others.

            What trial are you facing today? What struggle seems to overwhelming that you might not want to get up in the morning for? Remember counting it all joy maybe hard to do a first, but the joy will come! Even though you might need to count it daily or even hourly, God will bring you the joy that you need to stay steadfast during these struggles.

Devotional 7 - Fear

            During my time in Bangkok, Thailand I had a lot of anxiety issues. At one point I was watching a show that was pretty intense because it had a lot of bombs exploding, that when I heard a near by car backfire the next day I went straight to post traumatic stress. A lot of that stress came from the many car bombs and intense situations we had while in Bogota, Colombia. Even still, I really struggled those two years in Thailand getting on planes and traveling. Fear choked the joy of traveling right out of me. Then I got sick. It has hard to pinpoint what I had at the time and many people said to me it was just stress, but my parents thought otherwise. Now looking back stress was a catalyst to the sickness I had gotten. Sadly, what I took from all those doctor visits and rough nights was that doctors and people do not believe me. Also that all of my sickness was in my head.

            This fear has still stuck with me. When my daughter was born and she was struggling to gain weight at first and my milk or the formula we were giving wasn’t working. I kept feeling like no one would acknowledge that I thought something was wrong. So after many doctor appointments and being very pushy we did start getting answers and people were listening to me. Then I got sick. I had dizzy spells, brain fogs, tingling, numbness and chronic pain. At first they thought it was MS, next they sent me to a specialist who found a brain hemorrhage, which thankfully God healed within the next exam. At that point no one had clear answers. I still went to more doctors and my fear of not being taken seriously was creeping back into my life.

            Thankfully even though this fear tried to creep in and take root, each time it did I have to go back to God’s word, Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” When you “take captive every thought” and trusting in God’s guidance instead of the world, He leads you. Finally, even after I had wanted to give up on getting answers God led certain people into my life that helped me get the right doctor that figured out I had chronic Lyme’s disease.

            What fear are you struggling with? Money, not having children, job, the future, getting married or never getting married.  All those fears are only distractions by the devil. He wants to take your eyes off of Christ. Even now I still have to watch what fears are trying to take root. Today a dear friend sent me a song by Bethel Music “I’m no longer a slave to fear. I am a child of God.” I had to sing it over and over again to help remind me of God’s faithfulness and who I am in Him. Remember “I’m no longer a slave to fear. I am a child of God.”

Devotional 6 - Protection

            During one of my trips to the jungle with another missionary family’s team, there was a group of us traveling in a Bronco down the mountain. We were farther ahead of the rest of the team that was coming. Then all I can remember was that the road gave way. There was a small creek beneath the road and under one of the tires the road just disappeared leaving us tilted backwards over this creek on the side of the mountain. We all got out of the Bronco safely and without any more of the road giving way. I don’t remember being very scared, but I do remember the two American girls with us being pretty terrified and the driver had to tell some funny local stories to help calm down their fears (this is where the anaconda story came from which is another day).

            Since we were far ahead of the group we mostly had to just wait for a passing truck or vehicle that could help pull us out. Soon we heard in the distance a large vehicle approaching. When it turned the curve we were thrilled to see a John Deere construction vehicle. I cannot remember exactly what kind it was, but it definitely was big and able enough to help us out. They barely looked at us and passed by without stopping to see if they could help. Next another John Deere vehicle came by and did the same thing. Thankfully our group caught up with us and we joined them down the mountain to the nearest village. There we found a tow truck that went back and pull the Bronco out.

            It wasn’t until I got back home and shared the story with my parents that they told me that some lady back in the States was told specifically to pray for me and it had something to do with water. Even now I did not think of the situation as very perilously, but it probably was or could have gotten worse. God had given me a peace and confidence in Him that He is watching out for us. 2 Thessalonians 3:3 NIV says “ But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.”

            Trusting in God’s protecting hand is not easy. Life doesn’t always go perfectly and there are many times we don’t even know God had His hand of protection over us. Keep in mind no matter where you live or what situation you get into today or in the future, God is there! Thank Him for his protection even if you do not see it or feel it.

Devotional 5 - Giving

            Most people think that giving to missions means mostly money. As MKs we see how much our how family depends on it. Even churches and individuals always seem to hear about how they can support missions by giving. I am not saying that money isn’t necessary, but there are other ways we all can give.

            What I remember the most during our lives overseas was my parents giving of their time and experience to the local churches. Another memory is they gave me their personal time. Even with all of our busy schedules, my parents took time for hiking, lunch dates, visiting the country, going to my play productions, and especially cooking for school events.  One of the most important things they gave me was my freedom. Most of our time overseas I helped them out in ministry on Sundays and I truly did enjoy it, but when I hit my senior year they let me decide whether I wanted to go to church at all. They realized that soon I will be out of the house and would be making my own choices. Giving me my freedom was so encouraging as a teenager. It meant that they trusted me and wanted me to decide what I wanted to do without feeling pressure from my parents. I am grateful for all the things they gave me. They are the reason why I learned about giving.

            Yesterday, my husband reminded me that I gave of my first energy of the day to God at church. Since I got sick a year ago church has been very difficult to go to for many reasons, but still I go. Maybe I cannot give a lot of my time just yet or extra money beyond tithes, but I can give my energy. I hope that I can leave a giving legacy to my daughter like my parents did for me. Remember no matter what stage of life you are in, you can still give!