So much Freedom!

When I was diagnosed with Alpha Gal syndrome I had no idea what the would mean for the next 3 years. At first it seemed easy to think stay away from beef and pork, but when I started having reactions because of medicine and supplements the allergy got more complicated. Each new allergic reaction or new allergy I got because of my Lyme disease I would at first be overwhelmed.  Many times I would stand in the middle of a grocery store aisle reading ingredients of a package in tears. Food and cooking turned from being a joy to do to being a chore. Each meal I prepared for myself took longer than most and any fast convenient food was very limited. When I did found something quick and convenient to make or eat it usually was expensive. Soon this new life was my normal. Even my daughter learned the art of checking ingredients when she picks up a box or jar at the store. When friends and family asked how did we do it. I honestly didn't know how to answer. 

It was my life. 

It was frustrating. 

It was exhausting. 

When I wanted to go out to eat with friends or family they would always have to look to me and say "Where can you eat?" I don't hate making decisions, but when I am the only one always making decisions it exhausted on me. Not all of my choices of restaurants pleased my friends or family. I carried that disappointment with me sometimes only because I am a people pleaser. I even started dreading food events with my church or friends. I would make sure I ate ahead of time or just quietly say no many times over. Sometimes I could handle it, but there were always days that battle was too much. 

My life revolved around food.

My life still was joyful and fulfilled.

Even so I made decisions only through the eyes of food.

BUT…on May 8th I got my allergy blood results back with some of the most glorious news. They were all negative. I could now have all mammal meat, almond, corn, oats, wheat, barley, whey, tomato, egg, and much more. The most important to me was the meat. I have been eating chicken, turkey and seafood for almost three years. Not that they are bad to eat, but after three years it gets pretty old quickly. 

The first thing I went to eat was a burger with bacon. OHH, how real beef tastes so much better than a turkey burger. The reality check was waking up the next morning realizing I didn't have a bad night of tightness in my chest because I ate beef. That last time I had some cross contamination with pork in a few hours I couldn't breathe. I had to take the only meds that I am not allergic to and pray it would go away by morning.  

What has taken me off guard since I found out this news was the freedom I feel. The next day, my daughter and I were heading downtown to a festival and I started to think what should I bring to eat. Then it dawned on me I don't need to think about that. I can eat the samples they offer. I can eat mostly anything because I don't need to worry about possible contamination with mammal products. And if you, the reader, are new to alpha gal you would be surprised how much mammal creeps into food without us knowing it, but that is another story for another day.

Freedom is all I feel now. I was so trapped by my food choices that everywhere I went involved me preparing and thinking of hours ahead of me. 

What if I get hungry?

Where can I grab something to eat?

What can I bring with me?

Do I have time to eat at home before we go?

All these questions filled every day of my life. It was my normal, but now that old normal is gone I realize that I feel so free. I feel like chains of food have fallen off and the stresses of making decisions have been lifted. I truly am a kid in a candy store standing in front of all the meat with my eyes wide and mouth watering.

So many options.

So many decisions.

So much food I have missed.

So much freedom.

Bacon, pork, salami, goat cheese, marshmallows, chocolate, gummy bears, steak, and much more! Even though I said I was tired of making decisions these new decisions are a pure joy for me. I finally get to shop in all the aisles of the grocery store. So much freedom. I honestly never knew if this day would come. I just assumed I would have this forever, but now that it is here I am so deeply grateful. 

I can finally make a meal for the whole family to eat together.

I can finally enjoy a vacation without bringing my own food.

I can finally join in on dinner parties and social events.

I can finally have freedom from food!