Devotional 6 - Protection

            During one of my trips to the jungle with another missionary family’s team, there was a group of us traveling in a Bronco down the mountain. We were farther ahead of the rest of the team that was coming. Then all I can remember was that the road gave way. There was a small creek beneath the road and under one of the tires the road just disappeared leaving us tilted backwards over this creek on the side of the mountain. We all got out of the Bronco safely and without any more of the road giving way. I don’t remember being very scared, but I do remember the two American girls with us being pretty terrified and the driver had to tell some funny local stories to help calm down their fears (this is where the anaconda story came from which is another day).

            Since we were far ahead of the group we mostly had to just wait for a passing truck or vehicle that could help pull us out. Soon we heard in the distance a large vehicle approaching. When it turned the curve we were thrilled to see a John Deere construction vehicle. I cannot remember exactly what kind it was, but it definitely was big and able enough to help us out. They barely looked at us and passed by without stopping to see if they could help. Next another John Deere vehicle came by and did the same thing. Thankfully our group caught up with us and we joined them down the mountain to the nearest village. There we found a tow truck that went back and pull the Bronco out.

            It wasn’t until I got back home and shared the story with my parents that they told me that some lady back in the States was told specifically to pray for me and it had something to do with water. Even now I did not think of the situation as very perilously, but it probably was or could have gotten worse. God had given me a peace and confidence in Him that He is watching out for us. 2 Thessalonians 3:3 NIV says “ But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.”

            Trusting in God’s protecting hand is not easy. Life doesn’t always go perfectly and there are many times we don’t even know God had His hand of protection over us. Keep in mind no matter where you live or what situation you get into today or in the future, God is there! Thank Him for his protection even if you do not see it or feel it.

Devotional 5 - Giving

            Most people think that giving to missions means mostly money. As MKs we see how much our how family depends on it. Even churches and individuals always seem to hear about how they can support missions by giving. I am not saying that money isn’t necessary, but there are other ways we all can give.

            What I remember the most during our lives overseas was my parents giving of their time and experience to the local churches. Another memory is they gave me their personal time. Even with all of our busy schedules, my parents took time for hiking, lunch dates, visiting the country, going to my play productions, and especially cooking for school events.  One of the most important things they gave me was my freedom. Most of our time overseas I helped them out in ministry on Sundays and I truly did enjoy it, but when I hit my senior year they let me decide whether I wanted to go to church at all. They realized that soon I will be out of the house and would be making my own choices. Giving me my freedom was so encouraging as a teenager. It meant that they trusted me and wanted me to decide what I wanted to do without feeling pressure from my parents. I am grateful for all the things they gave me. They are the reason why I learned about giving.

            Yesterday, my husband reminded me that I gave of my first energy of the day to God at church. Since I got sick a year ago church has been very difficult to go to for many reasons, but still I go. Maybe I cannot give a lot of my time just yet or extra money beyond tithes, but I can give my energy. I hope that I can leave a giving legacy to my daughter like my parents did for me. Remember no matter what stage of life you are in, you can still give!

Devotional 4 – Sometimes you just need a garbage truck and different taxis!

           While I was in college I used to help my parents out with teams during the summer. One summer we had a team come from my mom’s home church. They had purchased a motor for a church on the Galapagos Islands. That church was planting churches on the island of Isabella and needed a better motor for their boat. A small team decided they wanted to visit them and help out with a kid’s camp and preach too. I was the sole translator. After we were done with kid’s camp and Sunday services the next day we were going to take a “3 hour tour” (from Gilligan’s island). The daughter of the pastor who had come to help (Olivia Dalton, now Devizia) and I had already had an eventful week of rats running around our room at night and hand size spiders sleeping with us. We both thought this trip was a restful boat ride. Little did we know we almost drowned in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I had to translate and did a horrible time because I did not know boat and engine words to help them out. Thankfully my uncle, a skilled fisherman, saved the day and prevented us from taking on more water. It rained for the first 4 hours of the trip. We used up all the gas for the return trip just to make it to the island. As we arrived to the shore of Puerto Villamil, I was pretty scared. They were supposed to be on a flight back to the mainland the next day so that they could catch their flight to the States the following day and as of right then we were stuck.

            As we went to lunch in Puerto Villamil, I couldn’t eat. I stared at the most beautiful blue ocean and white sand beaches which I should of enjoyed but couldn’t because I was fully responsible for this team. There were a few options left: first make several trips to and from the boat to the nearest gas station (a couple miles from dock) to refill the gas containers, second take a plane taxi back to the airport island called Baltra, third stay for a few nights and return on the small boat ferry. The first option meant that we would be still traveling back in the dark or the next day which after that last 5 hours I really didn’t want to get back on that boat. The second option was gone because the last plane taxi had just left. And the third option would mean they would miss all their flights back. I had no idea what to do. I kept praying and praying. We finally decided to ask the plane company how much would it cost to take us back. To our surprise I think it cost about $50 a person for them to fly us. Thankfully the pastor of the trip had enough money and soon we were on a plane taxi heading to Baltra Island.

            That doesn’t end our story. Since Galapagos is an archipelago, it is a protected place and no bridges are built. Also the only major airport is on a separate island called Baltra. When we landed on Baltra we were still stuck at the airport. Normally, when flights come in they have buses that take passengers to the edge of the island where they get a boat taxi (ferry) to cross a very small waterway to get to the island of Santa Cruz which had the biggest city, Puerto Isidro Ayora, on it. It looked to be a LONG walk to that dock, but thankfully a garbage truck showed up. We hopped in the back and got to the dock so we could jump on a random boat taxi from a local hotel. Then we finally got on our last taxi ride, a truck taxi, where we sat in the back of the truck and traveled 2 hours through some more rain to the other side of the island to Puerto Isidro Ayora.

            I laugh even now after such a scary experience mostly because I have had never been in so many different types of taxis. We got to travel in a boat taxi, to a plane taxi, and finally a truck taxi, plus a garbage truck to complete the adventure. What I got out of the story and hoping you do to, is that God can use anything to get the job done. Most of us don’t think we are qualified for what God has called us to do or even the next step in life. As many preachers have said, but it is very still true, “God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the Called.” Sometimes you need a garbage truck to get to your destination or a truck taxi maybe literally or figuratively. Do not underestimate what God can use your skill set for. Let God surprise you as you obey His direction.

Devotional 3 - Fitting in

            My favorite verse is Romans 12:2 ESV “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” I never realized that verse would be so real to me through out my life especially during high school. I was different and with those differences that I had some of my classmates didn’t want me to join them with their activities or parties.  Sometimes it might have been intentionally, but other times I don’t think it was intention. My priorities and choices were different than theirs; even still I was very hurt because of being left out.

            The problem with that hurt is I took it with me even after I moved away. These classmates did not know they hurt me and probably were clueless that they left me out. I held on to that pain for so long and held it against them. It wasn’t until years later that God convicted me of the bitterness that I eating away at my heart. What was done to me hurt me more in the long run than it ever affected them. At the time I should have taken what they did as a compliment because God didn’t want me to be the norm, but I had a hard time seeing it that way. As many of you know that during our teenage years we need so badly to fit in with others and be accepted and especially since we move so much. We are always trying to find a group to connect with. I think that with all my travels I still long to connect with others and feel accepted. I know now that being unique is what God wanted me to be.

            Are you struggling to find friends that understand you? Do you want to feel included and not stand out? All those feelings are normal, especially for TCKs. Usually we tell people where we grew up and they treat us special when we really want to be accepted as who we are without titles. We want to be us, not mom and dad’s kids, not the cool expat that has all these crazy stories.  These stories and journeys are what make us who we are in Christ. He wanted that extraordinary life for us. He doesn’t want to change us.  Remember Jesus stood out in the crowd, but he still hung out with sinners. We can be our unique selves and still be a huge influence on those around us. I pray that we all embrace our differences and love and accept each other for being diverse no matter what stage of life we are in.

Devotional 2 - Loss

            No matter where we grew up or how many countries we lived in we all have experience loss. The loss of our home and our favorite toys, loss of our best friends, and loss of family all are daily struggles. Some loss can be replaced easily, but others cannot be replaced.

           

            When Abraham finally got Isaac at a very old age it wasn’t but a couple years later that God asked him to sacrifice him. (Genesis 22) What a serious problem for Abraham. God had made promises that he would make him into a great nation and for years he didn’t think he could even have a son. Then when he finally got a son, God was going to take him from them.

            I remember when we moved to Colombia I could only bring what I could fit into my suitcase they gave me. Even then we moved so much within the country I didn’t get to keep much, but my mother would always let me keep my stuff animals. With all the moving and transitions they were always with me. They all were connected to specific memories, then a few years after college God told me to give them to children in China where my parents lived then. Now this isn’t as close to what Abraham felt, but for me it was a step of faith process. I had never wanted to let them go, but giving them away was the beginning of a journey for me to listening to God first. Even now that I am a mom and we have struggled with the health of our daughter since birth and I had to go back to that Genesis Chapter 22. Giving my daughter back to God is very difficult, but He is the one that gave me her in the first place. She is never mine completely. I am only the caretaker for this stage in life. Listening to God and giving up what your think is yours is a huge step of obedience and He might surprise you with a gift better than what your gave up. For me after I gave away my stuff animals my boyfriend (now my husband) showered me with stuff animals during our dating time.

            What kind of loss are you dealing with today? What has God asked you to give up? Life is very unexpected. You might have a loss that wasn’t in your control, but God is still there comforting you. You might have a choice to give up the dream job for a ministry position. You might have to trust God in the health of your family. You might of just experienced a death of a family member. Remember Romans 5:3-5 ESV “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

            What you are going through now might not make sense and the loss you just experience maybe will never be completely explained this side of heaven, but hold onto hope because nothing we go through is in vain!

Devotional 1 - Transitions

The first transition that I took to heart in the Bible is Abram’s transition.

Genesis 12:1 “Now the Lord said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you.””

I remember reading that and thinking first he had to leave his country, then leave his fellow friends and people, and also his relatives. How much of that describes us TCKs. Many times we did not have a choice in the manner of leaving everything. Some of us left the States at an early age and it was harder for us to leave the country we grew up in and returning to the States or maybe it is moving from the first country you were stationed in to a new one right in the middle of your school year. All these transitions no matter if you agreed or disagreed with the move affect us.  Another TCK friend once told me the only circle that we can control is our choices and reactions. Everything else is out of our control. Still even when there is so much in our lives that we cannot control it still affects us deeply. And dealing with that can be challenging and hard to navigate.

When my parents decided to switch countries I was an adult and had my own job and been in the states for a few years already. But I remember it hurt. Ecuador, I considered that home and the people I saw as family I wouldn’t see as much unless intentionally. I didn’t realize it at the time that my identity had been largely part of my parent’s job in Ecuador.  Finding our identity whether in the country, job, and material things never is the answer. We find it in Christ. Some days it is an hourly occurrence or a daily one. Still it is good to remember that in our transitions God is still there He doesn’t always show the whole path, most likely one step at a time, but transitions make us stronger and make us who God wants us to be. I pray that we take even the most difficult moves and treat them as a way to enhance your life resume. Remember that nothing that happens is in vain. God always finds ways to turn the bad around into good maybe for your benefit and for others too.  

Dealing with exhaustion

No matter who we all are in our life stage we all hit a point of frustration and exhaustion.

Since our daughter was born we have hit a lot of struggles with her eating and gaining weight. At 3 months she was moved to a very expensive formula that was amino acid based (no protein to digest) because she couldn't digest protein at that time. Thankfully we had discounts for the formula and loving friends and doctors that gave us free samples to help us with feeding our daughter. When she finally got allergy tested she was 9 months old. She was allergic to corn, oat, wheat, egg, dairy, soy, all nuts. At that point she was going to be on formula for a while. It was very exhausting to find foods without those ingredients, but we learned and adjusted. Soon after that she was diagnosed with FPIES (Food Protein Induced Entercolitis Syndrome). It was nice to have a diagnosis and we had a plan to move forward. She was finally gaining weight. She still was dependent on formula for a while until she hit 16 months some of her allergies went away. Corn, oat and wheat. Dairy was more of a lactose intolerance at this point. So we could add new foods. It felt like victory! Corn was the hardest thing to keep away (because it isn't on the allergen list on the labels). She was eating more from the table and was growing. She was down to one bottle a day until we went back to the specialist and they said that she was down again. Back to more formula. Finally we got the news in March 2016 that we could stop the formula and just keep eating what she is eating. What a relief. So we kept doing what we thought we were suppose to be doing.

In Sept 2016, at her 2 year old appointment, she has lost again and dropped off the charts. Since we were moving and wouldn't have insurance for 3 months I did my best to follow the doctors advice and tried to have a consistent meals and eating. Honestly she is eating a lot and because family and friends so generously help us pay for preschool, she has been eating more and drinking more of her milk than ever before. So at this most recent weight check we were hopeful!! But then our hopes got stomped on. She has fallen off the charts again both in weight and height.

I am exhausted from all this. I keep beating myself up as a mom saying, why didn't you feed her this, why not this. But then in the car one day this week I realize there are some things I as mom cannot control. She can get all the food she wants, but what if it is something else that is effecting the digestion and absorption. That isn't my fault. As moms we sometimes think it is our faults. We always seem to blame ourselves and keep running over and over the decisions in our head. Should we let them cry it out, should we spank them, should we feed them fast foods, or should we let them climb on everything.

We have to give ourselves a break moms. We seem to compare ourselves to each other all the time. Honestly these past few months I tired my best to just enjoyed the fact that our daughter was eating good food. She is a healthy eater! I stopped thinking about her weight. I also enjoyed not having a break from so many doctor appointments.

Even so now that I am hit with this disappointment I need to focus on that maybe this time a new set of eyes of doctors will help us figure out the root of the issue. Exhaustion leads to perseverance which leads to Hope. I can't and won't give up on my baby girl. And I will keep thanking God she is still learning and growing mentally everyday!