Year ago at this time I was technically diagnosed with MS (multiple sclerosis). It was a shock and took my whole family and friends on a long journey to confirm or deny it. A year ago I wasn't able to sleep because my legs were tingly and numb. I started having a chronic headache over my right temple (still have that one). Going to bed was the worse thing, because I would just lay there or would have to get up every hour to pee or my legs wouldn't stop moving. At the time the doctor starting me on meds to help with the numbness. Sleep got some what better. Sadly the medicine made me gain water weight and within a couple months I was 15-20 lbs heavier from that previous fall. (All the work to to get baby weight off went down the drain) After all my doctor trips and procedures to determine that I do not have MS, I still wasn't happy. I thought I would be relieved, but mostly all I felt was hopelessness. I wasn't any better and I had no answers.
I am finally stepping out of the roughest year of my life physically into a new era! I have a diagnosis, Chronic Lyme Disease! Some of the previous symptoms are still there, but many are getting better! Thankfully I have switched to a supplement for sleep instead of meds (the weight still hasn't gone away, but I guess I have to deal with that). I still have numbness randomly and tingly too. The chronic pain in my head has never left :( but there is still hope for the future. I won't give up!
I can't promise I will be 100% better by the end of 2017, but I can promise myself to take better care of myself and recovery. I can't promise that stress will go away, but I can promise to slow down and rest when my body says so to help relieve stress. I can't promise all my chronic pain will go away, but I can promise I will try to learn the triggers of them. I can't promise I will have enough energy or endurance to be out and about everyday, but I can promise to have fun filled moments with my precious daughter when I can!
This next year I don't want to make a new year resolution...I just want to keep working at the journey that has been set before me. Praying for my husband and his new job! Enjoy all my 2 year old girl's moments, even the tantrums and no naps. Making better financial decisions. Connecting with new friends and relationships! And last but not least WRITING MORE!!! If there is anything that I have learned from this painful year is that my story can help others, whether they read them or not, I know that it helps me to heal emotionally from this long journey of keeping most of my pain to ourselves. I never want to stop doing something that I feel led to do even if one person reads it (my faithful mom) or millions!
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